|abortion. it really brings out the kid in you|
Κανάλι 4Ε αν δεν πιστεύετε στον ευνουχισμό της εκκλησίας.
fuck my life
~Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." Fuck My Life.
~Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." Fuck My Life.
~Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
~Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
τα τα τα ταααα, τα τα ταααα...
~Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet.How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
two morons, one cup
~Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
αυτό πάει για ξεχωριστό ποστ (όταν βρω την ηχογράφηση)!
~Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
~Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
Κι εμένα μ'αρέσει!
ΒΡΗΚΑ ΠΩΣ ΓΙΝΟΝΤΑΙ ΟΙ ΕΓΚΛΗΜΑΤΙΕΣ!
~Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML
~Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan".My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
~Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
είχα και οπτικό μέσο γι αυτο αλλά έλα που είστε παρθενομαρίες.
~Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Αυτη είναι απ'το Τεξας.
~Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
~Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
αρκεί να 'χετε καλή σχέση.
~Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
αυτό το χουμε ζήσει πολλοί. Απο ανύπαντρες γυναίκες. Περασμένων των 35 Μαϊων.
~Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
κάτι πρέπει να κάνεις λάθος, δεν μπορει!
~Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
τουλάχιστον χάρηκες πήδημα!!! Ε???
~Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
άξια τηλεθεάτρια του 4Ε!!! Πάει πακέτο με:
~Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML